Children who have lost a family member or loved one can get support to work through their grief and heal, thanks to Rotorua Energy Charitable Trust and a peer support programme called Growing Through Grief.
Recently Rotorua Energy Charitable Trust donated $6000 to help fundRotorua Growing Through Grief. The programme is for children between the ages of five to 18-years-old in the Rotorua area who have experienced grief due to the loss of a family member or someone close to them.
“It can be anything suicide of someone, imprisonment of one or both parents. It can be as simple as a child moving from another country or city. We have helped a lot of children who have relocated from Christchurch after the earthquake and these children lost friends, moved from whanau, and perhaps the only home they’ve known.”
Rotorua single mother Nicky Hawker said Growing Through Grief helped her two children after she separated from their father. “My daughter (then 10) seemed to get a lot out of the programme,” said Hawker. “She kept a reflective journal and she formed strong relationships with other children who were also going through loss. It was a good outlet for her to talk through her feelings. For my son (then seven, and with Downs Syndrome), it was a safe place to be – and he was able to draw and look through pictures of feelings as faces, and that helped him express how he felt. It was really special – not just the programme – but the people running it who work hard alongside the kids.”
Growing Through Grief has been running for 15 years in the Rotorua area, and between 60 and 100 Rotorua children a year go through the programme.Children are referred by their school teachers or principals, the Family Court, lawyers, doctors, Child Youth & Family, Police or other agencies and community groups, as well as through word-of-mouth.
The programmeinvolves10 weekly sessionsand uses the cycles of the seasons as a framework to explore grief and how grief evolves over time.The ‘Seasons’ programme originates in Australia, but is licensed in New Zealand through Anglican Care Waiapu, and is also offered in other locations around the country. In Rotorua, Growing Through Grief is run as an after-school programme at St Luke’s Anglican Church or at local schools, by arrangement.
Children are grouped with three to five other children of a similar age, and sessions are run by a trained facilitator who leads guided conversations.They discuss topics such asfeelings and how to deal with them, change and how to cope with it, managing loss, and moving on. “The programme builds on itself,” saidBrake. “It is important for the children to come every week.”
Students share their own story, writing it in a journal or on a timeline, or drawing or writing their stories as leaves on a tree. “Then they sit quietly and tell their stories to each other, and that is where they start healing,” saidBrake. “They suddenly realise that they are not the only ones going through grief. It’s amazing to watch how they support each other and the healing that happens through the programme.”
The last two weeks of the programme involve looking ahead to the future, focusing on children’s hopes and dreams, and celebrating who they are and their strengths.
Grief and loss can manifest as withdrawal or erratic behaviour in children, and if it is not dealt with can have a negative impact on a child’s life.
“A child can experience a loss just as deeply as adults but they don’t always receive help for their grief,” said Alex Czerwonka, chairman of Rotorua Growing Through Grief and vicar of St Luke’s Anglican Parish in Rotorua. “The programme is specially developed to help them work through what they have experienced, in groups with other children.”
Brake seespositive change in children’s behaviour over the course of the programme. “When they come in the first week they are often surly and don’t want to be there often, but by week nine they are bouncing off the wall, happy, and talking about their feelings and hopes, and you see the healing that happens,” said Brake.
She is grateful for the support Rotorua Energy Charitable Trust gives the programme. “We couldn’t survive without their funding, we rely on it,” saidBrake. “They’ve been wonderful to us over the years, right from the word go they’ve helped us.”
Added Czerwonka: “I think the Rotorua Trust is a very valuable funding organisation, and what they contribute to the community being a better place is very valuable. We appreciate them very much. Their funding gives us certainty that we can continue offering our programme for the next year.”
Rotorua Energy Charitable Trust provides funding for a wide range of organisations throughout the Rotorua district. It is also the region’s most significant provider of student scholarships and support for high-performing youth.
The Trust has a proven commitment to ensure every funding dollar is distributed wisely with the goal of helping make Rotorua a better place to live, work and play.